I have no great love for the Spice Girls. I remember the first time I saw the video for Wannabe – I was drinking in The Pheonix in Manchester, which had big screen MTV – and I was horrified by these terrible overage brats with their suspect clothing and their identikit stage personalities. The video seemed to consist of them running round being mean to people who were older and uglier than they were, presumably because they were older and uglier than they were. And being … chirpy. Rank.
So when I found a Scary Spice doll in a bag in the attic, I knew she wasn`t a keeper. I might have kept her anyway if she was bonny, but she wasn’t. Don`t get me wrong – I don`t think anybody could fairly accuse Mel B of being ugly, but the doll bears no resemblance to her that I can see. I sold her for a couple of quid on eBay just to get rid of her, but as I was packing her into the envelope earlier today, I was thinking about how many dolls I had who would make a better Scary than this one, and eyeing her rather cool platform boots regretfully. So I decided to hold some auditions before I got rid of the outfit once and for all. I had to work quickly so that I could catch the post, so I apologise for the photos, which could have been better, but you will get the idea I am sure. In the grand old tradition of Mattel, I wasn`t looking so much for a lookalike, as for a doll who had the basic characteristics of Scary and looked great in the outfit.
First I tried Cali Girl Lea. Not that I thought this would work out very well, but I knew she would look great in the outfit and she is my favourite, after all. It was OK, but she`s got straight hair and because of her big flat feet, she couldn`t even wear the platform boots:
It wouldn’t do. So then I tried Trichelle from the So In Style range. She`s got some attitude and appropriately curly hair. She would have made a perfect Slighty Aloof Spice. She looked great but I wasn`t convinced she was right for the part:
Then I thought of GG Nichelle, as the Generation Girls were also an all-singing, all-dancing Girl Power kind of gang. I had high hopes for this one, but due to her older-style body the trousers gaped at the waist, and I think she`s far too ladylike to carry off this look. Fail, as far as I`m concerned:
It suddenly occurred to me that I had used the wrong Cali Girl. Due to my fondness for Lea, I had overlooked the very lovely Cali Girl Christie. I`ve never undressed my Cali Girl Christie before as some of her clothes were sewn into place and I didn`t want to mess her up, but I decided to go ahead as otherwise, I won`t end up featuring her again. I`m glad I did as she definitely made the best Scary and won the day: